I know it’s only August, but chili season will be upon us in two shakes of a box of oyster crackers. It’s time to get those tasting spoons sharpened and stock up on Pepto, Rolaids, Tums, Immodium A-D, and Tucks. I’m thinking of carving my own spoon from the femur of a Mexican bull … or a piece of wood from my garage.

As far as I know, the biggest chili event in Atlanta is The Great Miller Lite Chili Cookoff, which will be at Stone Mountain on Saturday, October 1st. Over 15,000 people showed up last year and this year is expected to have over 300 chili entries. I plan on attending, and I’m sure it will be a blast, but I must point out the following steaming pile from the cook-off website. The brackets are mine.

“Important note: Contestants, please observe that this event is the Great Miller Lite Chili Cook-off. Please support our sponsors – if we catch you drinking Bud there will be repercussions! Remember that the Miller family includes the following beers: Miller Lite [light lager], MGD [light lager], Miller High Life [light lager], Icehouse [light lager], Fosters [light lager], Pilsner Urquell [light lager], & Peroni [light lager]. You have plenty of choices for the discerning beer drinker.”

Gimme a freakin’ break.

Not the largest cook-off, but easily the most exciting will be the 4th annual Chiliface Freakout to take place on Saturday, October 29th at a location yet to be determined. Two year’s ago it took place at my friend Ben’s house. Last year was at my house. I’d love to host it again, but winning an event that you host is just too shady. We’re probably headed back to Ben’s. I will be looking to extend my win streak to three in a row. Let me know if you’re interested in participating.

Finally, last year’s Cabbagetown Chomp and Stomp was awesome. Their website is still advertising for last year, so I sure hope they’re planning another one this year to again take place the first Saturday of November. I believe there were 24-30 chilis evenly split between restaurant and individual entries. One all-you-can-eat bracelet cost $5. The Sweetwater truck was there pouring $3 pints. Live Bluegrass. It was one of the most satisfying days I can remember over the past couple years.

The reason I hope this year’s event takes place on Saturday, November 5th, is so that afterwards I can trek up to 5 Seasons Brewing and wash down all that chili at the 2005 Craft Brew Challenge.

And then I won’t need to eat or drink anything until Thanksgiving.