Petrolholics are in Atlanta!

Yes, friends, petrolholics are wide spread in Atlanta. What is a petrolholic you ask? Light a fire, snuggle in and come with me on my wicked tale of energy abuse. (This story is true, the names have been changed to protect the guilty.)

It all started when the data display inside my car began to alert me to my low fuel status. The computer system ran through its data base of nine million gas stations and selected the appropriate QuickTrip(ish) type fuel depository.

See, I don’t go to the real Quick Trip because I hate it when the people inside get on that stupid speaker out by the pumps and say, “Pump 29, gee, it’s good to have ya with us, you’re clear to proceed, we’ll see ya inside!!”

I just want to pick up the mic on the pole and say:

“Pump 29 to Distribution Command!”

“Go ahead pump 29!”

“Uh, Pump 29 here, pump 39 was unsure if you were clearing them for fueling or if you were clearing pump 49, please confirm which pump is clear, over. Uh, also pumps 24,25 and 26 have questions about fuel intermix formulas and would like to have someone step out for a consultation, over. Oh, and the man at pump 1009 is DEAD!…Over!”

Geese these people get on my nerves…….. anyway, I digress…..

Keep reading, this gets a lot better….

So, when I finish my fuel installment, I went in to pay and noticed two 2500HD pick-up trucks with their engines running. Both drivers were standing outside of their trucks having a nice conversation.

After paying for fuel, I came back out and noticed one was sitting on the open tailgate and the other standing there talking while both engines continued to run. “Hmm”, I thought.

Later, as I was approaching home, the refrigerator sent a message to my car’s computer reminding me to get 2% milk before I got home. So, I pulled into another QuickTrip(ish) market to get fuel. Well, what did I find there? Four young Humans all standing around a car, listening to a loud car radio while their THREE CARS WERE RUNNING!

When I came out with my 2% milk, I stopped to ask why they had all three cars running. The answer may amaze and shock you.

“My battery is ‘low’ and the stereo drains the battery, so, I was just keeping it on”.

Hmm, what about the other TWO CARS?

Instantly, I realized there were two options.
1) remove my Phaser and annihilate all of them before they could breed or 2) wish them a nice night.

Realizing I left my Phaser on Omacron 9, I wished them all a nice night. As I walked to my car, I heard one of the little ladies say to her ëboyfriendí, “Turn the f**king car off freak”. You go girl!

This made me realize how much we love OPEC. This made me realize we are spoiled little people in the U.S. I know that I am every politicians worst nightmare but, damn folks, just turn the cars off unless you can’t get them started again. Leaving it on to run in and run out of some place is cool but, I’m getting tired of paying $2 a gallon for petrol. Don’t be a Petrolholic – that 12 step program is gonna eat us all alive, not to mention, continue to destroy the air in Atlanta.

1 Comment so far

  1. Jen (unregistered) on October 24th, 2004 @ 3:27 pm

    I thought it was amusing that one of the Google Ads on this post was for “How to Cheat Gas Stations

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