I’ll be talking a little bit about me, but mostly (I think) about my work at Creative Loafing and some of the odd and interesting events going on around town.

Friend and fellow columnist Hollis Gillespie was on there recently. She was terrific. Here, see for yourself.

I did the same thing in 2002, but the mainstream media ignored it!

Here’s what I wrote about it in 2002 in Creative Loafing:

When I was a kid, I learned in science class that you can make crystals by dissolving certain mineral-rich powders in water. I remember asking my mom to take me to the grocery store to buy alum powder. I made a handful of crystals with it, marveled at them for a week or so, then threw them away.

Although my conscious mind forgot how much fun crystal-making was, my unconscious did not. Without telling me, my left kidney decided that crystal making would be a good hobby. Next thing you know, I developed a kidney stone, which I passed a couple of weeks ago. (Note, “passed” is simply the polite word for “pissed”). I’m so impressed with Lefty’s work that I’m auctioning it on eBay. Just go to www.ebay.com and search for “kidney stone,” or “Andisheh Nouraee” and you’ll find it. I’ve even included a photo. My kidney stone will make a wonderful gift, so bid a lot. Like Rick Astley said, “You wouldn’t get this from any other guy.”

Ebay stopped the auction before its end-date because, they said, it violated their policies about selling body parts. Jerks.

It’s not easy being ahead of your time.

“I eat whenver I’m hungry, usually five small meals a day,”
-Lindsay Lohan on how she maintains her “bikini bod”, as quoted in the January 16, 2006 issue of US.

“I was sick. Everyone was scared. And I was scared too. I had people sit me down and say, ‘You’re going to die if you don’t take care of yourself.’”
-Lindsay Lohan on her bulimia, as quoted in the February 2006 issue of Vanity Fair.

Because of the seriousness of Craig’s accusations (basically, that The Majestic illegally and cruelly discriminated against him because he uses a wheelchair), I thought it fair that the operators of The Majestic be given a chance to tell their side of the story in the same public forum.

I e-mailed and spoke to The Majestic’s co-owner Tasso Costarides. Costarides was not present at either of the incidents, but he made several very important points:

Costarides says that The Majestic’s main door has a ramp for wheelchairs and that there’s seating near the front of the restaurant that can accomodate customers using wheelchairs. Despite the restaurant’s front ramp and wheelchair accessible seating, Preston Craig twice entered the restaurant via a rampless emergency fire exit that was clearly marked Stop and Emergency Exit Only.

Costarides says that Craig’s rudeness to the staff, combined with his disregard for house rules by entering through the emergency exit, got him banned from the restaurant over a year ago. He was told by police to never come back.

Despite Craig hearing rumors to the contrary, Costarides says that the ban was still in place when Craig returned recently (through the same emergency exit). According to Costarides, the restaurant staff reminded him of the ban and that he broke the rules by entering (and subsequently exiting) through the fire door. The restaurant did not call the police, even though Craig was, at that point, trespassing.

In addition to his own statement, Costarides also provided me with an e-mail statement from Lucas Power. Power was the night manager at the time of the first incident that Mr. Craig describes.

Power says that Craig and his party were offered wheelchair accessible seating, but that they refused it because it was non-smoking. He also says that Craig was verbally abusive.

Here, in full, is Power’s statement:

This guy has a very selective memory. In all the nights I spent working at the diner, no one was ever turned away at the door. The exception to this rule would be someone without shoes, someone covered in blood, or someone previously banned for some out-of-line behavior.

The night in question has two precursors. First, when Preston was told we could accommodate him in either the first four-top or at the counter. This is when he opted not to stay.

The second is the incident that he claims kept him away for three years. The actual chronology is more like a year and half or two, tops.

On that night, Preston had a table full of friends in the smoking section (the back of the dining room). Again, he was informed of his seating options, and even was explained the rationale — the aisle is too narrow, the side door is a fire exit. We even offered to move the entire party up front, across a couple booths, so he could still sit with his friends.

It’s worth noting that his friends refused to move because they wanted to stay in the smoking section. In the end that simply wasn’t good enough. Despite the fact that we told him no one was allowed to use the fire exit as an entrance, he still went around to the side and got someone to let him in. When we saw that he had used the fire exit to get in and would certainly have to use it to leave, we decided to just ask him to leave altogether. Not because he was in a wheelchair and we were all draconian, but because he had blatantly broken a rule of the house.

When we asked him to leave, Preston got very belligerent and started making a scene. This is when we were accused of discriminating against him.

By becoming abusive toward the staff, Preston broke a second rule of the house. He informed us that he would not be leaving and that we would have to call the police. When the cops arrived, events unfolded as they do each and every time someone refuses to leave. The police calmly explained that he would have to leave as we requested, and furthermore issued a verbal, criminal trespass warrant.

On third shift, almost everyone is out trying to have a good time. Some people get out of hand and the only way to maintain any semblance order is to stick hard to a few basic rules. If a customer chooses not to respect our rules, then we choose not to serve them. It’s very simple.

Not one angle of this incident makes Preston a pioneer. If anything, it makes him overly sensitive.

Judging by the speed with which he entered the intersection and the sternness of his “get the hell out of here” gesturing, I assumed I was witnessing some sort of emergency unfolding.

Nope.

I was witnessing the approach of several large tour buses containing the Miami Hurricanes football team, arriving at Lenox (possibly the J.W. Marriott?) two days ahead of the Eat Mor Chikin Peach Bowl.

My initial thought upon realizing what I was seeing was “WTF?” Why do tour buses with college football players need police escorts just to go to a hotel?

(Click here for video of me and my lady cursing their arrival)

An escort to and from a big game is fine. But just travelling to a hotel? Gimme a fucking break. When there are actual crimes in and around Atlanta that the police don’t respond to (I’m referring to crack selling and prostitution taking place less that two blocks from my home), local governments should not waste police manpower holding the hands of college football players. Besides, they’re all 6′2″ 250 pounds — who’s gonna bother them?

I forgot about the incident until this morning, when I glanced at this AP story. It seems that the Miami Hurricanes football team was so sore at LSU for stomping on them, that one or more members of the Miami squad started a fight with LSU players after the game. Georgia State Patrol officers intervened to break up the fight, at one point pulling out the Tasers.

After reading that, I thought, “Hmm, maybe I had it all wrong.” Maybe the police escort wasn’t to protect the football team from us. Maybe it was to protect us from the football team.

Happy New Year.

I kid you not. Sony is advertising its PlayStation Portable with a “stealth marketing” campaign that consists of paying people to spray paint pre-fab images of PlayStation characters onto outdoor walls in several big cities around the country. Atlanta is one of those cities.

Apparently, it’s a response to Sony’s realization that traditional forms of outdoor advertising (buses, billboards, etc.) just aren’t reaching their target audience.

Some people have pointed out that Sony’s spray painted ad campaign is both a violation of law and a finger in the eye of local communities working hard to clean up blighted inner city neighborhoods.

Those people are a bunch of killjoys!

I, for one, think that illegally spray painting ads on private property is a great idea. So great, in fact, that I think everyone should be doing it.

To help get you started, I’ve compiled a list of several buildings whose tenants are known supporters of illegal, spray paint “stealth marketing” campaigns.

Sony Business Solutions & Systems Sales Office
3175A Northwoods Parkway
Norcross, GA 30071
(770) 263-9888

Sony Music Inc
1000 Abernathy Rd NE
Atlanta, GA 30328
(770) 392-1844

Sony Pictures Television
2859 Paces Ferry Rd SE # 1130
Atlanta, GA
(770) 431-0202

Sony Electronic
120 Interstate North Pkwy SE
Atlanta, GA
(770) 953-5880

Sony Electronics
1050 Centennial Olympic P
Atlanta, GA
(404) 347-9492

Sony-Atv Music Publishing
Atlanta, GA
(404) 350-1669

Happy marketing!

UPDATE: Prompted by a comment below, I went by Marco’s Pita with a camera to see if a) Sony had sprayed adgraffiti on the building and b) whether Sony had the building owner’s permission. I didn’t see any graffiti — Sony or otherwise — so I left.

Sunday: WKRP Program Director Gary Sandy is 59. Dead great-grandfather of slut Conrad Hilton is 117. Singer Dido is 34. Carpenter, lord, savior Jesus of Nazareth is approximately 2011.

The Transporation Security Administration has just revised its helpful list of what items passengers can and cannot take with them aboard commercial passenger aircraft.

The items listed above are still banned.

You can see the complete list here.

Dear Charis Community,

Do you still need and want Charis to be here?

We hear shoppers and volunteers and community members say yes, Charis is needed and wanted, but the numbers are singing a different song; if business doesn’t pick up rapidly, WE WILL BE FORCED TO CLOSE.

Many of you are regular shoppers here, and for that we thank you- you have kept us alive. We ask that all of you, regardless of your Charis frequency, read this message and pass it along to others who might benefit from shopping at Charis and want us to stay alive.

Please take a moment and reflect upon what Charis has meant to you over the last 31 years of operation. For many it is a safe space, an oasis from the bible belt mentality, a community, a gathering place, the first place you turn to when you’re looking for books you are scared to ask for. For others it is simply a great spot for finding unique gift items, a place where you are an individual with tastes and needs rather than a dollar amount. It has been a space for finding voice, for speaking out, for celebrating diversity. Over these many years, Charis has been many things to many people, and much more than just another place to buy books.

Now imagine a world without Charis.

Unfortunately, that world is looking more and more realistic. In the face of corporate domination (both online and down the street), more and more independent businesses are being forced to close their doors. Don’t let that happen to Charis! Don’t let corporations determine what our neighborhoods and cultures look like! IF YOU WANT CHARIS TO BE HERE FOR ANOTHER GENERATION, THEN NOW IS THE TIME TO BUY BOOKS LIKE NEVER BEFORE! With gas prices on the rise, and the economy in a general state of crisis, it is more convenient than ever to succumb to one-stop shopping at superstores and online giants. That is why it is more important than ever to continue to support local, independent businesses. As cookie-cutter chains dot the globe, our culture is looking more and more homogenous and corporately controlled. If you want a future that looks different from corporate domination, different from massive deforestation and suburban sprawl, different from right-wing agenda censorship, then put your money where your heart is and live what you believe. SHOPPING AT LOCAL, INDEPENDENT BUSINESSES DOES MAKE A DIFFERENCE!

Shop independent. Shop local. Shop feminist. Shop woman-owned. Shop outside the box. Shop Charis for ALL your reading needs! We believe that books can change lives. Make a difference with your holiday spending this season.

We welcome your creative ideas and suggestions-we want to survive and thrive!

In solidarity and with appreciation, Sara, Linda, Angela, Debby, Nicole, Kerrie

email: marketing@chariscircle.org
phone: 404.524.0304
web: http://www.charisbooksandmore.com