Been There. Done That.

William Shatner’s in the news today because he’s auctioning one of his kidney stone’s on the Internet.

I did the same thing in 2002, but the mainstream media ignored it!

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Here’s what I wrote about it in 2002 in Creative Loafing:

When I was a kid, I learned in science class that you can make crystals by dissolving certain mineral-rich powders in water. I remember asking my mom to take me to the grocery store to buy alum powder. I made a handful of crystals with it, marveled at them for a week or so, then threw them away.

Although my conscious mind forgot how much fun crystal-making was, my unconscious did not. Without telling me, my left kidney decided that crystal making would be a good hobby. Next thing you know, I developed a kidney stone, which I passed a couple of weeks ago. (Note, “passed” is simply the polite word for “pissed”). I’m so impressed with Lefty’s work that I’m auctioning it on eBay. Just go to www.ebay.com and search for “kidney stone,” or “Andisheh Nouraee” and you’ll find it. I’ve even included a photo. My kidney stone will make a wonderful gift, so bid a lot. Like Rick Astley said, “You wouldn’t get this from any other guy.”

Ebay stopped the auction before its end-date because, they said, it violated their policies about selling body parts. Jerks.

It’s not easy being ahead of your time.

1 Comment so far

  1. Tony Mc (unregistered) on January 18th, 2006 @ 11:41 pm

    I had a kidney stone a few years ago and couldn’t wait to get rid of it. I was lucky enough that thanks to the miracles of medical science (drugs), I was able to spend most of the night and next day loopy. Knowing that I will be prone to get one again anytime my lower back twinges I think that it’s another. But when it’s not immediately followed by excruciating pains in the, ahem, scrotum I know that I’m okay.

    But back to you. Ebay should let you sell it. It’s not like you had to do something devious to yourself to get it and list it on their site. Facists!



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