how to feel very, very old
1. Go to Woodruff Library at Emory.
2. Sign yourself in. (They allow visitor access with ID until the evenings.)
3. Pick a table.
4. Listen to the two fresh-faced Emoryites at the next table (“And I have, like, two midterms the day after fall break!”).
5. Remember when you were a fresh-faced undergraduate having such conversations.
6. Realize that when you were a fresh-faced undergraduate having such conversations, the unhappy midterm-burdened pair had not yet hit puberty.
(7. Continue listening:
Emoryite #1: “So we were in Paris, trying to find a margarita . . . ”
Emoryite #2: “You should’ve just bought a blender.”
Emoryite #1: “I know. So we finally found this one Tex-Mex place, and they had margaritas but they wouldn’t serve us one unless we ordered food.” [with rising indignation] “There was a bar, and everything.”)
Another good way is just go to the grocery store and let some baby buy beer in front of you.
“Can I see your ID please? … March … 13 … 1982 … Thanks!”
What? People born in the eighties can by alcohol now?! What in the hell is going on around here!
Or when you’re talking with your *college* students about past elections, you start to say something about Reagan, pause, think, and then realize your students barely remember when *Bush, Sr* was in office and don’t remember Reagan as president at all.