Call it the Perimeter, call it by it’s name, it’s the circular road around the city we all know and love.

I-285.

A local radio talker says in a promo on his station that I-285 is “a great place to raise children…and to find a mattress.”

If only he were being funny. Today I had to rush from work to my kid’s daycare in Roswell to prevent massive diaper scariness for my son-I’d forgotten his new pack of buttcovers were in the trunk of our car.

And on the way back, low and behold, there lieth on the roadside there, between Chamblee-Dunwoody and Peachtree Industrial, a dull gold-colored queen sized Serta Sleeper. It sat up against the median wall, nearly folded in two, as if protecting itself from the passing traffic.

My first impression of Atlanta was this; driving around 285, not entirely sure of where I was headed, and every mile or so there was a different brand of bumper on the road. There a Chevy Malibu bumper, here a Saturn, that one looks like a Ford F-150.

Most recently I have also seen along the banks of that asphalt river;

• a leather easy chair, solid white, overstuffed.
• Countless shoes-usually either athletic shoes or boots, always mens. Occasionally child-size shoes, but those suggest something rather sad that I best not contemplate
• A couple of porno magazines being avidly scanned by the wind
• A very tall man with a shaggy beard who looked like he’d soiled himself
• did I mention the shoes? yep. Did I mention there’s only one shoe at a time, never a pair?
• A perfectly new looking teddy bear-also a very sad sight.

That was just a few things. Imagine how strange a store dedicated to finds from 285 would be.

There’d be plenty of mattresses.